Distant Hearts
by finallyxfound
Summary: It's been forever since she's been here...and she still can't help but wonder what would it actually be like if she would've stayed?
1. A Dance

**Distant Hearts**

_A Dance_

It's been forever since you've seen him and you don't know how to act. Newport hasn't changed for you – it's still the same. You're not high class but neither is he, but he fits here. But then again, he's been here longer too – he knows who's who and what's what. You – you're just here for the wedding and actually surprised when she asked you to stand up. And very thankful that you're not the maid of honor.

You hear the music behind you as you stare at the water beyond the railing and watch it ripple against the cooler wind that just passed you by. You're not sure how to act around everyone, except Summer. She's your friend, the one that you ran into again on a spring day in Chicago three years ago. You call her when you're mad at your mom and she calls you when she needs to rant about something stupid that Seth did. You built a friendship across the miles and even thought about moving back to Newport to be nearer to her. But then you thought about him.

Yeah, him. Him – who you left to be with your mom in quite possibly the windiest city on the planet. Him – who you dreamt of nine times out of ten every night – imagining what it would actually be like if you stayed. Would you still be together? Would you have fallen for him even harder if you stayed? Would you have broken up because of a stupid fight and then two hours later gotten back together, both of you admitting you were stupid? Would this wedding be yours? There were so many questions that didn't need to be answered. And many that did. Why didn't anyone talk about Marisa anymore? Or Caleb? And where was Julie?

Another cool wind passes you by and you shiver, not quite ready to go back inside yet. But you had to go sometime, you are in the wedding party after all. You can't stay out here forever. Your eyes drift back to the dry land, err, pier and you start to think of how the Chicago Pier is very similar to this one in Newport. Give or take a few boats, but still. You don't delve into the comparison because you're now distracted by a grunt. His grunt.

Your red hair blows into your face as you turn slightly to see him outside with you now. The first thought that comes to your mind as he steps forward is that he looks good in a suit. Really good. You brush the loose strands out of your eyes and clear your throat, sending him a soft smile as his eyes meet yours. They haven't changed either…except for the twinkle that used to be there once upon a time in high school.

But this wasn't high school anymore. Come to think of it, you hated high school. All four of them. But that didn't matter just now. What mattered was that you were here…in Newport…standing not two inches from the man you considered to be the love of your life.

He calls your name and you finally snap out of your trance. _You okay?_ He asks you, shrugging off his suit jacket when he sees you shiver one more time. He steps forward and drapes the piece of clothing over your shoulders and without really knowing it, you take in his scent. It's just the right mix of fresh aftershave and a wave of crème. _Thanks, you didn't have to, _you say, not knowing for sure whether you thought that he thought it was the gentlemanly thing to do. _Hey,_ he pauses his words as you look back up at him again, _don't analyze. Just accept. And I wanted to_. He finishes and you return his smile. You could never resist his smile.

The next few moments are silent between the two of you and the beat of the music in the background changes from an upbeat one to a slow ballad. You think of Seth and Summer as it plays softly in your ears. Two days from now they would be Newport's newest newlyweds – like everyone predicted would happen. You think of Seth dancing like he's Patrick Dempsey in Can't Buy Me Love and then Summer joining in. You think of Seth changing his beat just as the lyrics come into play and catching his betrothed by surprise.

You come back from thinking of Seth and Summer to see his hand out towards you, silently asking you for a dance. He doesn't have to say anything to you for you to respond immediately. It takes about two seconds for you to be enveloped inside his embrace and you feel him pulling you closer. You feel your dress ripple in the wind and your heart skips a beat when he holds you tighter, his lips close to your ear as if he's about to whisper sweet nothings into your ear. And he does.

_Missed you…_are the words you hear escape his mouth and you start to tear up at them. You've waited seven years to hear those words from him. Both you haven't been the greatest in keeping in touch, but you're not going to call him on it and he's not going to do that to you either. You are both bigger people than that. But you've imagined those words many times before. Most times they're in your dreams – day and night and in those silly little stories you tell young Sara, your neighbor's daughter that likes to stay over more times than her parents like her to. You've had the recurring one that hasn't escaped you yet – You're still in Chicago and he unexpectedly appears at the Pier, where your favorite place is. Your neighbors, Mark and Addy told him where you were since they know where to find you at all times of the day. You look up from your camera's keyhole to see him racing towards you like a fire is erupting behind him and you get up from your seat on the bench, leaping into his arms as he reaches you. The kiss – the kiss always comes first and then the famous words that you've longed to hear, _missed you._

You blink, snapping back to present time and place to see him staring back at you as you dance to the slowing beat of the song. It's then you realize that Summer was right all along. You're really not over him. You're actually still head over heels, stars over moon in love with him and instead of scaring him away with your declaration of love, you say what your heart's been telling you from the start – _I missed you too Ryan. So much._


	2. A Surprise

**Distant Hearts**

_A Surprise_

You're in Chicago and you have no clue what prompted you to come – apart from the new Mrs. Seth Cohen dropping subtle hints all over your answering machine. Summer had called five times since the two were on their month-long honeymoon, ending each message with an address. Her address.

The airport is crowded and you expect nothing less from O'Hare but it's even too crowded for you. Maybe it had something to do with the 4th of July being this weekend, you don't know nor do you care. It takes you back to the day after she first left – when your best friend, the one who you constantly tease and call Mr. Summer Roberts, actually discouraged you from flying right after her. At that moment in time, you hated his idea but agreed with him anyways because he was persistent, he was right and he was Seth. Now you realize that you should've stuck with his advice even now, despite his bride's not-so-subtle hints.

You look at people running left and right, trying to get the right luggage off the go around and you're thankful that Kirsten gave you the brightest bag of Seth's that she could find. You pick up the bright orange duffle bag and try to think of what Seth actually needed this for in the first place and then glance down at the address in your hand. You're nervous and scared all at the same time, still wondering why you had decided to take a vacation now and to Chicago of all places.

The next thing you know you're in a yellow taxi complete with an odor that you don't know what to know what it is and a less than happy driver. He's driving you back downtown, to your hotel which just happens to be not two blocks from her apartment. And you discover this moments after you walk into the lobby and the concierge is more than willing to help you with anything. You instantly think that this guy, with the fake Italian accent, needs another job but are informed minutes later by the bellhop that he's constantly like that and just really loves his job.

Once you're in your hotel room, the first thing that you do is ask yourself aloud what you're doing and consider checking yourself into a mental facility just to make sure you're not insane. You feel your eyes grow heavy and before you know it, you're asleep and the first person you see in your dreams is her. Ever since the wedding and the warning before from Summer, you haven't been able to do much of anything else but think of what might've been and the what-ifs that popped in your head. You're an architect for an international company and you can't finish that one job because of a girl…a beautiful girl who has your stomach filled with more butterflies and bats than you've had in a long time.

Your eyes open slowly as your stomach worsens, turning into more knots and you catch the red numbers of the clock staring back at you. You didn't actually sleep that long, yet you're still tired…but not from travel. More from emotions than anything else. Seven years….seven long years filled with some amazing and not so amazing adventures. And yet all you can think about is what if she had been a part of them and then your mind drifts to the ultimate question of the day – what the hell is she going to think when you show up at her door? That was the whole point of the trip, wasn't it?

You sit up, not sure if you should eat, shower of just up and go to her, but you decide on a shower first. The warm water will wake you up and make you smell better when you see her again. It runs down your back and it finally hits you – what are you actually going to say? You're not a spur of the moment type of guy – okay, you are, but this is completely different. This is her and you and Chicago. Yeah, you think in your mind as you step out of the shower, this is completely different.

But that doesn't stop you, does it? Now you're out of your suite, pushing your way through the revolving door and gazing out onto the streets of Chicago. While she was in Newport, you, among the others, heard the stories of the city and warned about her neighbors who were new parents and not getting any better at it the second time around. You remember laughing at them and listening to her, watching her lips curve into a smile everytime she mentioned a small girl named Sara, even with Summer adding tiny tidbits in every now and then.

You're in her building, thanks to an older man who was kind enough to let you slide after you explained a fake story about a surprise visit to your sister and her family. It was a lie but you don't care. It got you in and that's what you were going for. Apartment #835 is etched in your brain now…at least the number was and you were now standing right in front of it.

You clear your throat, thinking to yourself that this should be the easy part. You were always good at this part – but again, this was different. She was different. She wasn't like the others you had dated. Given, it had been a while since you'd been out there dating on a regular basis, but still. _This is the easy part, Ryan,_ you say to yourself aloud, unaware that the previously mentioned neighbor had just poked his head out of his own apartment door.

You nod your head as he goes back in and take a deep breath, letting your clenched fist lean up against her door, trying to get back into that old character you once had. The one that approached girls with ease and asking them silly questions and taking them out and wooing them was easy. You finally knock softly, hoping for just a moment that she doesn't answer and that when Summer asks you what you did while they were on their honeymoon, you can lie and tell her that you finished that big job that your boss is on your case for and that'd be that. But you'd still be hoping that she would've answered her door and you'd be singing a different tune.

She answers, much to your delight and stands silent when her amber eyes catch your own. Suddenly, that speech that you had written in your head on the way over her, isn't enough and the words get lost in the zillion thoughts that are running through your mind now. She's beautiful, you think, even with her hair up in a messy ponytail, three pencils in it, a SHeDaisy tee-shirt and jeans that look like they've been worn one too many times – she's beautiful and you want to tell her, but don't want to scare her so that she slams the door back in your face.

_Hey,_ you say, knowing how dumb that must've sounded to both you and her. _I was going to go with I was in the neighborhood line, but you'd see right through that_. The charm is slowly coming back and you know it's because she smiled at you. _You'd be right_, she answers and then lets you all the way into her home. And it's at this moment in time that you realize you were never really over her – especially if, seven years after you first spilled the scolding coffee on her in the high school lounge, you're still thinking about that moment and wanting to relive it over someway, somehow, but without the spilling of the scolding liquid all over her. It's at this moment in time, you realize that you like Chicago.


	3. A Chat

**Distant Hearts**

_**A Chat**_

He's the last person you expected to see at your door at 8:30 in the evening on a Thursday night, but you don't refuse him. Instead, you shuffle your slippered feet back into the small foyer and wait to close the door as he enters your sorry excuse for an apartment. But you love this apartment. It's yours and comfy and quaint. Your eyes try to avoid his by looking at the mess on the kitchen table and in the kitchen itself, but it doesn't work, you're still distracted by him being here.

He stops short of the main living room, which thankfully is half blocked behind a wall, waiting for you to show him all the way in, you guess. You now want to ask him the million questions running through your mind, unlike two weeks prior where he, Kirsten, Summer and Seth had to practically beg you to tell them a story about Mark and Addy, who you had no doubt in your mind that they were pressed against the opposite side of the wall in your kitchen with an empty jar or glass next to their ears, wanting to hear something from the mystery visitor that you've never really told them about, just hinted around.

Ignoring the urge to go and bang the spot you had recently discovered for getting your point across, you show him all the way in. And in turn, try to make your place presentable as you walk, silently scolding yourself for not doing it yesterday liked you planned on. But it's a lost cause, even you know that. Bypassing the living room, you head into the kitchen and feel the need for coffee. Maybe it will get you to talk then. He leans up against the island counter and you feel hi gaze on you and you start to think how awkward this is starting out to be but don't know how to proceed, and from the lack of conversation, he doesn't either. Letting the coffee brew behind you, you turn back and look at him again, this time with two mugs in your hand. He nods slightly as he adjusts himself on the stool and you place both to the side, silently waiting for the coffee. And then he breaks the silence.

The next thing you know you're beside him on the couch, coffee in hand and listening to him rant about how much he hates his boss. You don't blame him either. From the sound of it, his boss isn't the greatest and you start to make comparisons between both yours and his boss. You don't mind him ranting, in fact, you like it. You like hearing him complain a bit and think that maybe he likes it too. Maybe he doesn't really have anyone to rant to. Still listening, you let your hair down from the messy ponytail you had since before he arrived and look at the clock on the wall. Your eyes meet his again and he asks you if he should go. And honestly, takes all you have in you not to tell him no.

But before you can answer, he does for you. He gently places his hand on your knee and even though he may not give a second thought to it, it sends a shiver up to your heart, making it beat ten times more rapidly than it was. He pulls on his light jacket at the foyer and looks back at you as he places his hand on the door. _So, I guess I'll see you later_, he says to you and before you can think it over in your mind and weigh the pros and cons, you tell him to come with you this weekend. You had told him earlier about your unusual family's celebration around the 4th of July. He steps forward slightly and looks straight into your eyes, the twinkle ever so slowly coming back and a smile itching to come out to play. _You really want me there?_ You blush like you're still in high school and do the shy sort of smile, looking back up at him again. _Yea, I want you there._

You missed this. Missed him, missed the 'us' of Ryan and Lindsay. Sure, you had had some boyfriends, if you could call them that, in between. But there was no other Ryan. Suddenly you're startled by him leaning in and kissing you on the cheek, sweetly, leaving you flushed and flattered and falling deeper all at the same time. And you weren't lying. You really did want him here.


	4. A Thought

**Distant Hearts**

_A Thought_

Twirling around in your chair, you try to find inspiration for the interior design of the new corporate building your company has you planning, but you don't have any inspiration as of yet for it. You're still daydreaming about the 4th of July weekend in Chicago – which Summer still tries to get details out of you. It was a fun weekend, you have to admit. You always knew the Lindsay that was book smart, shy and gullible, but when she took you to her family's gathering ground, you watched her emerge to be the social butterfly of sorts. You saw her mother again and met family members that you couldn't remember now. You had stayed close to the one of many red heads and only let her out of your sight once – when her cousin named Kyla started to ask questions on if you were her new boyfriend or not.

Remembering the fireworks was the best part of your daydream and you would've killed Jerry, who was knocking on your office door, if it wasn't because you needed this job. In fact, you liked your job – it's just the management that you weren't a big fan of. Turning back around and facing him, you hear him say something about an emergency staff meeting and you proceed to roll your eyes. This would be the third one this month and the month wasn't even half over. But as soon as you get up to follow him to the boardroom, your eyes catch onto the picture of her – smiling like she means it and isn't going to get any happier in her life. You remember that it was taken on that Fourth of July weekend and remember her cousin Kyla, again, coming up behind her when she smiled like that. You admit to yourself that you miss her and make a point to call her as soon as you're out of the meeting, if it really is a real meeting. And then the inevitable happens, your phone rings first.

Leaving Jerry to go to the meeting by himself, you stare at the phone, debating on answering it or not and ultimately decide to answer it. After all, it could be important. But you find it really isn't when your best friend starts rambling a mile a minute about something concerning his boat. _Put Summer on the phone Seth_, you beg him and you hear her in the background telling him to deal with Hugh, the club's daytime watchman and she gets on the phone with you apologizing for him being Seth sometimes. _So, which meeting did he just get you out of?_ She asks, as she now knows you better than you know yourself. You smirk and tell her it's some emergency meeting, air quoting with your fingers as you sit back down in your chair and twirl back around in it, catching another glimpse of her photo….and her smile. You stare at it for a while before being pulled back in by Summer's voice mentioning dinner tomorrow night and something about a surprise. _I hate surprises, _you tell her right out. _You'll love this one_, she counters back and you roll your eyes, all of the sudden excited about the 'surprise' for tomorrow night. But then you're not expecting the real surprise that's standing outside your office door.

You bounce right up from your seat and hang up on Summer, still staring at the figure in your doorway like you just saw a ghost. Her knock was a complete surprise and you're now wondering if Summer's phone call was just a distraction. She's here and you're here and not seeing her for three weeks seems more like a lifetime to you than just a few weeks. You flashback to the moment when you first kissed her – in Sandy & Kirsten's pool house – the moment that you wouldn't trade for the world. Her red hair is curly today and you fight back the urge to run your hands through it as she slowly walks in, looking about the almost-corner office that the firm has you in.

_So, I was going to go with the 'I just happened to be passing by' line, but I figured you see right through that_, she says, a playful smile forming on her lips as she lets her oversized purse slip onto one of the chairs.

You smile back, mostly because hers is so contagious and partly because she got you back. _You'd be right,_ you pause for a moment, thinking of what to say next, but before you can she catches you by surprise again by giving you a hug. You instantly wrap her in your arms and think that life really can't get any better than this right now. Can it?

_So, what can I do to get you to play hookie today?_ She asks and this is declared the best day in your life.


	5. A Dress

**Distant Hearts**

_A Dress_

It's the beginning of the holiday season now and you scrunch up your nose as Summer holds yet another red dress out and up to your frame for the upcoming annual Charity Ball for the museum. Every dress your friend, who was in town for the ball tomorrow and brought her husband and his best friend along for the ride, picked out, was red. _Red_, she said, _was the color of the season_. Obviously, you think, she must have been a blond once upon a time in her life before because you have red hair – the kind of red hair that can only be seen with a certain type of pink and no shade of red unless you want to be hosed down by Chicago's Fire Department. You immediately take the dress from her hands and emphasize the words, "No Red," to her for the thousandth time. "Black, what about black? I like black."

"No black," Summer snapped back at you. You had learned over the years not to argue with Summer's fashion sense, after all she was named as one of Vogue's top ten emerging designers to watch. You move onto the next rack, following her lead, wondering why you didn't take her up on her offer for her to design one for you. It would've been easier since she already had your measurements from the wedding in the summer. You hadn't gained nor lost any weight, you were the same…you thought. Summer ran her hands through the next rack, taking out several blues and violets among them when your eyes caught another dress on display. A perfect dress.

You step out from the aisle, your eyes never leaving the perfect dress that you just happened to see. A gold champagne color, it was just long enough to be perfect with subtle beading at the top. The straps were thicker, leading down to just the right point as to not to reveal anything that didn't want to be revealed. You feel Summer step beside you, watching your eyes fill with fascination and wonderment and she flags down Ana, the salesperson who had kept asking if there was anything you needed help with.

"The gold, in size 4," Summer told her and she hurried to the back to retrieve the dress. You look over at Summer and smile, knowing, or almost knowing that this is the dress. Ana comes out moments later with three gold dresses in three different lengths, "Just in case," she says.

"Hey, you have to try these on too!" Summer objects before you go into the rather large changing room. You look back at her and she goes on, following you closely. "You have to, unless, I have to go back to your apartment where I have no doubt in my mind Seth, Ryan and little Sara are on a sugar high. Please don't make me go back yet," she begs, you laugh and go to try the dress on.

With just one touch of the gentle silky fabric, you don't need any confirmation from Summer or anyone else. This is most definitely the perfect dress.

* * *

You hold the champagne flute in your hand, sipping on the liquid as the Fire Chief goes on and on about how he's grateful that MSI was hosting the Annual Fireman's Ball. You're actually hardly listening; instead you're looking out for Summer, Seth and Ryan. The ball had been planned since last year and with three extra tickets on your hands, you honestly couldn't think of anyone else to give them to. You considered Mark and Addy, but with Addy's recent pregnancy, that idea was out. You're glad that Summer jumped at the tickets actually. It'd been a while since you saw her last and you definitely needed some much needed Summer-Lindsay time. 

The Chief calls your attention back, asking about the newest exhibit and how it was going. "Fine, Chief. Have you seen it yet?" You politely ask, putting your Museum Director hat back on. He tells you that he has, but wouldn't mind seeing it again with a pretty girl. You know he's trying to get you to come with him, but you've seen _Body Worlds_ one too many times. You flag Kristie, one of the many facilitators, over and introduce her to the Chief and hand him off – just in time too, since Xander, your assistant director had strolled by your side announcing that 'a lovely brunette is persistently asking for you at the front lobby'. _Summer_, you know that it's Summer and you quickly finish off your flute of champagne, handing it off to him and fleeing in that direction.

Stopping only twice to do your job with the smiles and formalities, you lean over the balcony, looking for the inseparable three that you call your friends and spot them by the bar with Seth trying to put the bartender out of his job. You smile and make your way down the staircase, your eyes meeting with another pair of blue ones across the crowded room. You try to suppress the smile that wants to come out but you can't and you let it loose, smiling all the way to the middle of the room – where he meets you.

Over the months since Summer and Seth's wedding, your friendship with Ryan has, in a nutshell, developed into something that you're not sure you can label. It's somewhere in between like and love with you both tiptoeing on the boundaries of what-ifs and maybes. There's now about three inches between the both of you and you both stand staring at each other. You were right the first time you saw him again – he looks great in a suit. "Hi," you say, a flush coming to your cheeks.

"Miss Gardner," he reaches for your hand and brings it to his lips, kissing it softly, "you look…I actually have no words," he tells you as Summer and Seth finally come around.

"Ravishing, sexy, amazing, gorgeous…shall I go on?" Summer gave him some options still holding onto Seth's hand and her own flute of champagne. "Hey!" She then proceeded to squeal in your direction and gave you a hug. A strand from your half twist comes down in your eyes and you swipe it away with your free hand as the other one is still in Ryan's.

"Okay," you announce, "you have the option of seeing what's actually inside your body or…my favorite part of this job I have. Which one?"

"I'm going with the latter," Seth spoke up, "not really interested in what's inside me. I know what's in there – a lot of beer and Summer in my heart."

"You really have to work on your compliments Seth," Ryan tells him and pats his back as he's drinking his beer, "Lead the way, milady." You giggle at Ryan's words, leading them all to the backstage area where the real magic happens. Just like the magic between you and Ryan, whatever it may be.

* * *

A/N: Many Thanks to dancer150 for the original idea for this chapter. 


	6. A Test

**Distant Hearts**

_A Test_

DVDs were left on the table, a half finished bowl of popcorn eaten and two cans of juice were drunk and you are now officially pooped and weren't even thinking about cleaning anything up. You just wanted to go to bed. The rest could wait until tomorrow. Most times when Sara stayed with you, you had a great time. You watched movies, you gossiped about the latest in Disney cartoons that she still loved to watch, you blasted the teen pop music and danced like you hadn't a care in the world but this time around it was a different story. You started out good, but then Sara got grumpy and you were lost after that. Once again, proving your point that you were so not ready for any sort of family anytime soon although you frequently dreamt of one. Addy had picked Sara up about an hour ago and you silently hoped that she had gotten Mark's clone to finally go to sleep, as you didn't have any luck in doing so and you were now so wound up yourself, sleep was the last thing on your mind even though you wanted to slip into a slumber so deep that you wouldn't wake up until late afternoon tomorrow. But Summer, had other plans.

Your cell phone blasted to alert you that she was calling and you groaned before answering. Sure, she was your friend, but this late…err, early in the morning, she better be on her death bed, and you tell her that. "Name one of three things that constitutes you calling me this early and it can not have the name Seth in the first sentence."

"Okay, um, how about a test?"

"Test?" You question her and against your better judgement, start to clean up a bit, pulling the glasses into your arms and taking them to the kitchen.

"Test. Big test. Test that will tell me my destiny as Mrs. Seth Cohen."

"Did you not hear the words, 'Cannot include Seth' come out of my mouth?"

"I did, but I need someone to talk to me while I wait."

"Summer…"

"Lindsay, you graduated in from Northwestern University with a GPA of 4.0, you should be able to figure this out," a long pause from both your ends occupied the line when you finally put two and two together.

"Oh my God, that test."

"Yes, that test. So, talk, you have three minutes and counting."

"Okay, on topic a bit, Mark and Addy are having another girl."

"Really? That's wonderful. Seth got another job."

"Really? Summer that's great. That is great, right?"

"Yeah, it is. It gives us a lot more time together. But new job also entails that he's always on call. That part I could do without, but it's still good. You heard from Ryan lately?"

You knew she was going to bring this up. It had been two months since the ball, since you took your three friends into The Whispering Gallery at MSI and two months since he had kissed you. It was one of the greatest kisses that you had ever received and wished it would've lasted forever always. You wished you would've kissed back a bit more and maybe even asked him to stay. But it was fast for you and you didn't want to put your faith in something that you were still skeptical on in the first place. "I got a couple of emails, that's about it."

"You should call him. No, seriously, you should. I haven't seen him this week but I know Ryan, Linds, and you can always tell when he's starting to fall for someone and all that stuff. He really likes you and I'm not talking just like you, I'm talking like you, like you."

You let out a shallow breath and take in Summer's advice. You want to call him, are actually itching to call him but don't want to seem so eager to start anything that would be long distance. You had only just reconnected again and it was going good…up until he kissed you here, in your apartment. You look around the almost clean living room now, still holding onto the phone and remembering that night like it was yesterday. You were still in that gold dress, your hair down from the twist you had and smiling as he told you his dream of owning his own firm someday. He had big dreams and you could only imagine them coming true.

"How's that three minutes coming?" You ask, blinking and looking away from the couch. "Summer, still there?"

"Still here. I don't think I can do this, Linds."

"Yes, you can. You're Summer Roberts-Cohen, the most amazing woman in Newport with both brains, boobs and sass. You can do this," you try to reassure her, only wishing that you were closer in proximity than a phone line.

"I'm scared," she tells you honestly and honestly, you're scared yourself.

"So am I," you admit, walking into your room and sitting on the bed. "Ready?"

"Ready," she says and you hear her pick up the test that had been sitting on the edge of the vanity. You hear the hesitation in her voice and you realize that you're both in the same boat. You're both not ready….not just yet.


	7. A Message

_**Distant Hearts**_

A Message

You sit at your computer desk, drowning out the day by working on a separate design idea on your own that wasn't from the firm while old school rock blasted from your stereo speakers. The design is almost finished as you erase the previous line you just drew, changing its direction from where it was going. Looking back to the outside of your corner office room that let in every inch of light around the condo you bought several years ago, it makes you wish that you had taken Seth up on his offer to go sailing today. At the time it hadn't sounded that good, since the weatherman on channel ten was calling for rain but now – looking at the sun beating on the bench just outside the door – it didn't seem like a bad idea. It would certainly get you outside, out of the house and not thinking about a certain redhead who'd been on your mind since before you woke up this morning. 

Maybe you shouldn't have kissed her. But then you would be regretting it if you hadn't. The last time you had kissed her, you both weren't as experienced as now and it was innocent then – just a peck on the lips to get you started into high school lust. Now, it was a different kind of kiss. Now – there was simply no one word to describe it – it was heated, passionate and yearned for more all in one touch. And all you knew was that you wished that it would've lasted longer.

A beep on your laptop brings you back from daydreaming about her and the boat and the kiss. Opening up the envelope that tells you that 'You've Got Mail', you suddenly feel like Tom Hanks in the movie of the same name. Reminding yourself not to let Summer pick out any more movies, you open your inbox and stare at the sender's name – L. Gardner. It's at this time when you drop everything you're doing at the moment and brace yourself for what's inside the message;

_Do you ever think about how an old, and I mean old, song relates to your life in every single way? I'm thinking that although I don't know her anymore than you know Bon Jovi personally, that Avril Lavigne needs to stay out of my life and drawing inspiration from it. But I could always blame Jennie too, who sits outside my office and plays all of her songs everyday, all day. You can come save me now…_

You sit back in your chair, leaning halfway to the ground and smile. You like it when she's random like this – it's funny and cute all at the same time. It was definitely one of the things that drew you back to her.

_Sara asked about you and I told her I'd say hi for her. So 'Hi' from Sara…and me too. Summer called me last week and gave me an earful on how I should stop procrastinating and talk to you or email you or something. So here I am, writing you since I have a conference call in about fifteen minutes. And she says that she's not cute out to be a mother – she's certainly got the yelling and guilt trips down good, doesn't she?_

Lindsay got it right there. Summer was cut out to be a great mother – yelling and all. Heck, she already came by more times than she liked during the week and picked up after you. Everyone needed a Summer in their lives.

_But back to the point of the email. I guess….um, no…..I think this is even harder when you're not in front of me. This is where Avril Lavigne would come in handy. I miss you still_ _Lindsay_

You crease your brow just a bit, confused on why she would leave it there and you scroll down the page, looking for anything else she might've added but there wasn't anything. Your eyes go about the page and you nearly miss the mp3 attachment with a catchy title – 'Avril knows me to well'. You turn off your old school rock and let yourself relive an old high school song…and then the lyrics hit you. Avril was right.


	8. A Knock

Your life is officially boring. At least that's what you call it when it's a Saturday night and all you want to do is lay down on the sofa with a mini carton of Cherry Garcia and tell yourself that an evening of old Hollywood musicals is a date. But in reality, it's not. And somehow you actually want to be out…somewhere; actually anywhere than your apartment would be good. You feel that you just need to get out but out where is another question. 

You aren't the social butterfly. The closest you got to being one was your senior year at Northwestern when your crazy roommate who surprisingly went on to be one of the most successful lawyers in Chicago, dragged you out to celebrate being a senior. That was back when clubbing was actually cool to you. Waking up with a hangover and staying in bed all day? Not your idea of fun anymore.

A movie was fun. Yes, a movie. Grabbing the paper from beneath the contract you've been avoiding all day to look at, you skim past the obituaries and socialite announcements and go straight for the entertainment section. No, no, no, scratching each movie off the list that's showing, you toss it aside. Were there any good movies anymore? The only flick that you're looking forward to this summer is _Hairspray_. Who wouldn't want to see John Travolta in a dress, right?

Taking a seat at the island, you look at the thick contract in front of you and take a deep breath. You're the one that wanted this, right? You tell yourself right and pull your hair back out of your eyes, flipping over the cover and glance at the tiny print typed out. You start reading but don't get past the first sentence when a knock on your door comes.

Not expecting anyone, you think it's most likely Marc wanting you to watch Sara, but it's not. Once you open the door though, you're surprised and don't even get a chance to speak before soft lips are on yours. You kiss back, not caring why or how he's here. You're just glad he's here.


End file.
